we were all just
drunk on the idea
Today was such an emotional night. My first time crying right in front of the person I like. I’ve been ignoring him the whole shift, and he got mad that he’s gonna treat me as a coworker from now on. I just couldn’t tell him what i was feeling until about 2 hours before our shift ends. Sooooo….
I said I was sorry about earlier, and he just said “it’s okay. It’s done.” Then i got slightly irritated with such response. But he randomly said “you know everyone likes you..” Then that’s when it hit.
I was like you know, people only come to me because they either need something or they’re lonely. Sometimes when people start getting really close to me, I take that chance thinking oh they might be the one that may stay. So this attachment suddenly grows. But they still somehow leave because the found someone better. And well I started crying.
You know, i feel so numb. I dont regret letting him call me every morning and night. Or kissing and touching me everytime we see each other. And not even the sweet talks we have…. But i just feel so easily thrown here and there. I asked him if he has a new girl now, and he asks me why am I asking that, were not bf and gf. I just felt he suddenly changed all of a sudden. Didn’t call at nights when I didn’t call, didn’t speak when I didnt. It was just an instance response that I was already getting replaced.
It was my first time actually arguing in person. So a totally different experience.
“They text me so they can make their ex girlfriend jealous by using me. They only come and say how are you when they feel lonely. How about you, did you touch me because you just wanted someone to touch ???? **he puts his head down in silence**
Because Everything is temporary. And it fcking hurts.
But i dont want the calls, skinship, sweet talk to go away. But these just can’t stay anymore … :(
Raymond Carver, Where I’m Calling From: New and Selected Stories (via hqlines)
Colleen Houck (via hqlines)
Before anyone starts hating on Kiko, take a look at Jiyong’s face and attitude in these pictures - he is happy. After worrying about him being unhappy recently, don’t you dare go and ruin that.